Why Superheros Make Horrible RoomMates
by AthenaKeene
Summary: The members of the Justice League and the Team go over the many reasons why super-powered roommates are NOT a good idea. Contains all characters in one way or another, however it's filed under Batman and Aqualad because they are the leaders. ((Rated T because then I feel as if I'm writing something people might actually read... And because I'm paranoid.)) UPDATES TO COME!
1. Chapter 1

**Why Superheroes Make Horrible Room-Mates**

**Fandom:**Young Justice

**Paring(s):**Spitfire, Chalant, BirdFlash, SuperMartian, SeaArrow, WonderBat, GreenCanary, BuMalBee, and hints of HawkgirlxGreenLantern, HawkgirlxHawkman.

**Summary:**The members of the Justice League and the Team go over the many reasons why super-powered roommates are NOT a good idea.

**A/N:**I have this huge-ass placement test tomorrow which means I'm distracting myself by any and all means. Fangirling is not just a side effect of awesome shows; it's a way of life. But then, you get FUCKING PISSED THE FUCK OFF BECAUSE SOME ASSHOLE DECIDED TO CANCEL ALL THAT'S RIGHT IN A HORRIBLE BLATANT UNIVERSE OF WRONG! OH JUST YOU WAIT PUNK! I'M HAVING THE LEAGUE GO ALL DARKSIDE ON YOUR ASS! Anyway *calms self down*, here is my first attempt at a humorous fic.

* * *

**Chapter One:**(A Bigger Watchtower)

Batman watched his fellow founding members of the Justice League talk amongst themselves while seated at a table located in the middle of the Watchtower's cafeteria. Flash was bragging about KF as usual while Green Arrow began to talk about how while KF did help on missions, Roy wasn't as impulsive; therefore the archer had the better protégé. Both Diana and Shayera were bored, having no sidekicks of their own and to make matters worse J'onn had just called to say that a niece of his had stowed away on the ship taking him to Earth; that and she couldn't wait to start her training.

The many other leaguers were all chatting about how they would go about finding students of their own- it seemed like everybody and their cousin wanted a sidekick.

_Great_, Batman thought. _We're going to need a bigger watchtower._

* * *

"We could always use Mount Justice," Flash said snacking of a bag of potato chips. "I mean- now that it's unoccupied and all."

"Negative," Batman replied barley acknowledging the speedster behind him. "With the location of the cave compromised it would be unwise to put the most inexperienced fighters there."

"Yeah," Flash said shoving another handful of chips in his mouth, "But I mean you don't want them up here with us do you?" He swallowed hard. "Not that Kid would be a problem, it's just that I don't think I could handle another you around."

"That makes two of us."

* * *

"Hey Dinah!" Ollie called out to Black Canary who had walked past the storage room he was in. On the desk in front of him were blueprints to renovate the room into living quarters. At the very left top right hand corner of the page read: Project Protégé.

"Oliver- what do you think your doing?" Black Canary peered over his shoulder. "You haven't told Roy about this have you?" She crossed her arms.

"We'll, I mean," Black Canary glared at him.

"Ollie..."

"Dinah- Roy's a good kid. He's practically a son to me. I thought he had a right to know…"

"Know what?" The Dark Knight's figure appeared in the doorway. _This was going to be a long day._

* * *

**A/N**:_ Yea! Well let me know what you think- there's more to come! I should be updating every week so check back often! R&R! :D _

Athena Keene


	2. Chapter 2: (So Much For Sleeping)

**Why Superheroes Make Horrible Room-Mates**

**Fandom:**Young Justice

**Paring(s):**Spitfire, Chalant, BirdFlash, SuperMartian, SeaArrow, WonderBat, GreenCanary, BuMalBee, and hints of HawkgirlxGreenLantern, HawkgirlxHawkman.

**Summary:**The members of the Justice League and the Team go over the many reasons why super-powered roommates are NOT a good idea.

**A/N:** Yea! High five for a fast update! Thanks to my two reviewers- **dragonick711** and **Batgirl13**:D Like I said before, weekly updates are sure to come, but the more reviews I get the more likely I am to update. (That and as a fangirl, I don't have much of a life outside of, well the many fiction worlds I consider myself a member of.) XD

* * *

**Chapter Two:**(So Much For Sleeping)

Aqualad being team leader had the responsibility of making sure that after an extraordinarily hard mission all members took time to rest, instead of staying up training or watching classic TV (Cough*Megan*Cough). However since the Atlantean was not in charge of just any teens, this was never easy. Especially since the five teens he was responsible for never actually did anything together; sometimes it took forever just to track each member down, heck- most of the time they found him first. Today was no exception.

He found Conner sitting by himself, staring at the static on the TV screen. The Kyrptonian clone didn't see his leader enter, nor did he move when Wally whizzed past the both of them to change the station. He flipped through numerous channels and programs before he opted to put a movie in. Only then did he acknowledge his teammates.

"Hey guys! Soooo- I was thinking, since we kinda got our butt kicked and stuff- that a movie night would cheer us up. Of course, Artemis probably won't come to watch with us. She's off in her room brooding, but Megan agreed to make us some munchies." (Yes people. I say munchies instead of snacks. Deal with it.) Aqualad sighed. Of course Wally would still have ample energy after a mission like that; he _was_ Wally after all.

"Shut it Baywatch, if you are watching a lame movie, who else is going to everyone sane?" Artemis smacked him on the back of his head before taking a seat next to Superboy who, as usual, had a scowl on his face.

"Don't forget me," the Boy Wonder jumped down from the rafters above.

"Gah! Man you have got to stop doing that."

"Stop doing what?" Just then Megan returned from behind the kitchen counter with a plate full of chocolate chip cookies. She held them up proudly, "Look! I didn't burn them this time!"

"Hey those look great Megelicious, but you know," Wally said taking two at a time, "I liked the other cookies just fine."

"Um, Team?" Okay, maybe today was an exception. "It would be wise if we all rested. Perhaps staying up to watch a movie isn't the best idea," Aqualad stepped into the TV room. "It has been a long day for all of us."

"Come on Kal, it'll be fun!" Wally whispered into Kaldur's ear. "Besides, I heard Zantanna and Rocket were spending the night too. It's too bad though, it looks like Soupy is stuck with Ms. Congeniality over here," he gestured to Artemis.

Recognized: Zantanna Zatara A-03.

"Hey guys, I hope I didn't keep you waiting, I just snuck home to grab some PJs; Dad's out on a mission with the League and-" She looked at her fellow protégés. "Where's Rocket?"

"Right here." Rocket was in her street clothes, with her phone in her hand. She gave Zantanna a quick hug before she walked over to the bright green couch. "So what are we watching?

"Well, I was thinking we could watch The Hunger Games," Wally began slinging his arm around Miss M. "It's a pretty big Earth thing right about now."

"Please, Baywatch," Artemis rolled her eyes, "The movie sucked. The books weren't all that great either. The tragic heroine ends up a victim of circumstance. Besides, for a guy who finally kissed a girl for the very first time, you sure act like you have a lot of options."

"Aww, come on Arty," KF scooted in between Conner and his girlfriend before he pecked her on the cheek. "You know I only have eyes for you beautiful, but I'm young- a guy has to get his kicks in."

"That's it!" Artemis threw her hands up in the air.

"Wally, you know Conner and I are in a relationship," Megan said as she cuddled up to Soupy who smiled smugly.

"Hey- can you blame a guy for trying?"

"Ugh," the blonde archer pushed him away. "You are SOOO immature."

"Am not!"

"Am too!"

"Am not!"

Kaldur merely shook his head and sighed. _No_, he said to himself. _Today is no exception._

* * *

**A/N: **_Oh, friendship! Why don't I have friends like them? _

_A: They don't actually exist. Dang it! _

_Anyway, **R&R! **_

**AthenaKeene**


	3. Chapter 3: (The Problems With Spandex)

**Why Superhero's Make Horrible Roomates**

**Fandom:** Young Justice

**Paring(s): **Spitfire, Chalant, BirdFlash, SuperMartian, SeaArrow, WonderBat, GreenCanary, BuMalBee, and hints of HawkgirlxGreenLantern, HawkgirlxHawkman.

**Summary:** The members of the Justice League and the Team go over the many reasons why super-powered roommates are NOT a good idea.

**A/N:** Sorry that it took a while guys. Yesterday I had a headache so bad, I threw up and stuff. I was pretty much passed out the entire day if you don't count the times my mom made me get up and drink water so that I wouldn't die of dehydration. Anyway, this is part one, but part two should be up before Monday. Once it is I will combine this and that together so that my labels match up with the site's labels. Thank you to my many reviewers- **Batsysgirlforlife**, **dragonick711**, **femrobin fan**, and **Alchemist15** ! :D

* * *

**Chapter Three: (The Problems With Spandex- Part One)**

Sure being a Superhero was fun; but there was a lot you needed to be capable to do. Running, jumping, swimming- not to mention the occasional chase sequence. This of course, made a hero's crime fighting outfit one of the most important aspects of their career. They needed a material that's stretchy- but secure. A fabric that was smooth, but not slippery- so naturally any type of Spandex or clingy, stretchy material was fair game. However, that also meant that after a long day of rigorous training, a certain group of teens could not wait to change. Especially if you happened to be training outside in 100 degree weather.

"Ugh!" Artemis groaned, pulling at the nape of her cowl. "This is ridiculous! No one in their right mind is outside. It's not like anyone would get this close to the cave anyway." She slowly peeled off her mask. "Thank you," she sighed, "This is so much better."

"I'd have to disagree," KF sped around in the sand from where he and Superboy where sparring over to his very frazzled girlfriend, who stood shielding her eyes from the sun. He poked her jokingly, "The hotter it is, the less clothes you need on." He threw her a cocky smile as she pushed him away.

"Boys," she groaned.

"Not all guys are like Wally," Robin said walking over to the couple. He whispered, "Look at Kaldur- he and Rachel are just having a normal conversation. Though you can totally feel the aster."

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Whatever, I'm going inside to change."

"That does sound like a good idea," Megan flew Conner and herself over to the Team. She wiped her brow, "I'm so hot."

"Wally- don't."

"It would've been too easy anyway."

* * *

**(A/N:This is the revised part for those wondering why this seems exactly the same. Oops...Hehe- {not} surprisingly it's past Monday)**

"Thank GOD," Artemis mumbled toweling her hair. "This is so much better."

The Team had gone back inside the cave to shower and change into cooler clothing. The girls went first, giving a certain group of boys time to perv around. What? Hero's have hormones too.

"We should really consider renovating the shower room," Wally said gulping down his ice tea. "I mean I'd feel much more comfortable just peeking on Artemis, although I can't say I object to this either."

"We should give them privacy, let 'em do their hair and stuff," Superboy grumbled.

"Come on Supes! Megan isn't even in there with all the other girls- shape-shifter remember?"

"Yeah, yeah I remember. But I also remember the last time you tried to do this." In the background Robin cackled.

"Soupy is right, not only did they use you for target practice but Wally, come on. What made you think you could actually vibrate your molecules that time around?"

"Hey!" Wally pouted. "Dude not cool."

"Robin is right," Kaldur said after finishing his glass of water. "It is dangerous," he paused briefly before adding, "In more than one way."

"Whoa," KF's mouth fell open. Keeping his eyes locked on the gilled teenager his head turned to his raven haired friend. "Did Kaldur just make a joke?"

Robin mused, "Kaldur- you've been spending way too much time with Roy."


	4. Chapter 4: (Superheros:Disney-Oil:Water)

**Why Superhero's Make Horrible Roommates**

**Fandom:** Young Justice

**Paring(s): **Spitfire, Chalant, BirdFlash, SuperMartian, SeaArrow, WonderBat, GreenCanary, BuMalBee, and hints of HawkgirlxGreenLantern, HawkgirlxHawkman.

**Summary:** The members of the Justice League and the Team go over the many reasons why super-powered roommates are NOT a good idea.

**A/N:** So this (and possibly the next few) chapter(s) is going to be about DISNEY MOVIES! I realize that this topic and Young Justice has been beat to death, but what can I say? I watched Enchanted yesterday and now all I want to do is wear a ball gown and dance around in Central Park. Cough*WithMcDreamy*Cough. As usual, thanks to my dedicated reviewers- **Alchemist15** and **dragonick711**, along with special thanks to my newest reviewer- **Poseidon'sdaughter3**.

* * *

**Chapter Four: (Superheros: Disney :: Oil: Water)**

"My eyes! THEY BURN!" Kid Flash cried running away from the recreational area in the cave. "WHY OH HATEFUL WORLD- WHY?!"

* * *

*Way Earlier*

Artemis, Megan, Raquel, and Zantanna were all seated on the green sofa in front of the TV. Miss Martin had convinced everyone to let her paint their nails- of course she chose the glitteriest (A/N: Is that a word? It is now) and brightest colors she could find. Luckily, she happened to have neon green on hand for Artemis. Raquel's nails were painted purple, while Zee's were a golden yellow. However, the Martin girl overlooked the fact that after the nails were covered- all girls couldn't use their hands for the next hour or so. Needless to say, this left a very peeved archer and her fellow team members glued to the couch- with absolutely nothing to do.

"Miss M- maybe we could watch a movie while our nails dry," Rocket suggested slightly irritated.

"Oh, okay! That's help pass the time- great idea Raquel!" Miss Martin flew to her room before returning with a handful of "Hello Megan!" on DVD, along with almost every classic Disney movie in existence. "I know they are for younger girls, but I haven't seen any of these. Have you?" All three girls nodded.

"Great! So- which ones are the best?"

"Mulan."

" Pocahontas."

"Sleeping Beauty."

Raquel and Artemis raised their eyes at Zantanna, "Sleeping Beauty?"

"What?" She asked blushing a bit, "I think it's sweet. Besides what would our Artemis Crock know about fairytale romance?"

"Touché."

Megan was growing impatient. "But which one do we watch? We don't have enough time to watch them all."

"Mulan."

" Pocahontas."

"Sleeping Beauty."

"Ugh!" Artemis face-palmed. "This isn't getting us anywhere- it's bad enough I can't use my bow for the remainder of the hour, but now we've wasted whatever time we have without the guys debating animated Disney movies."

"We'll then- what do you suggest?"

They all thought for a moment before Raquel pulled out her phone. "I've got it!" She tuned her device around. "Enchanted. It came out a while back- it has a strong female character who has to learn to adapt to the real world after her evil stepmother sends her through a well all the while her handsome prince goes to find her." All girls nodded.

"That does sum all of our choices up," Zee said before she fluffed up a pillow, getting comfortable. "I'm in."

* * *

*After The Movie*

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You girls thinking what I'm thinking?"

* * *

*Present Time*

Wally sped past the guys of the time who had all come back after their guys' night out. Befuddled, they all peeked into the living room to find...

... Artemis, Raquel, Zantanna, and Miss M dancing around the room in floor length medieval ball gowns.


	5. Chapter 5: (Babysitting Captain Marvel)

**Why Superhero's Make Horrible Roommates**

**Fandom:** Young Justice

**Paring(s): **Spitfire, Chalant, BirdFlash, SuperMartian, SeaArrow, WonderBat, GreenCanary, BuMalBee, and hints of HawkgirlxGreenLantern, HawkgirlxHawkman.

**Summary:** The members of the Justice League and the Team go over the many reasons why super-powered roommates are NOT a good idea.

**A/N:** I know- I'm sorry. I've had a lot of Social Studies crap to study + plus I got into IC! BOOM! Anyway, I'm going to be taking Honors English and either Algebra 1 Honors, or Geometry- SO EXCITED! Anyway this entire chapter/idea is dedicated to **Linzerj **who mentioned this concept in a review. Plus, she has a ton (and I mean a ton) of stories you should check out.

* * *

**Chapter Five: (Babysitting Captain Marvel)**

"Is this even necessary?" Wally asked Red Tornado, trying to get his attention. "I mean he's got the wisdom of Solomon and the speed of Mercury. If you ask me- Billy can take care of himself."

"Yeah," Captain Marvel agreed. "I'm a member of the Justice League- I think I can go a weekend without adult supervision. I talk to tigers, and break through walls- why are all of you so worried?"

"On second thought…"

* * *

Billy (as Billy), Artemis, Robin (as Mr. Shades), Zantanna, and Wally had received Saturday's duty. Billy was content in the morning; he was seated on the couch watching his morning cartoons when suddenly he jumped up. Knocking over his bowl of cereal, and orange juice onto Wolf, he ran over to the teens who were chatting amongst themselves near the kitchen counter. Wally was telling Artemis and Zee the story of how he and Flash defeated Captain Cold, earlier that week; Robin, was currently in his room, fixing some bat-gadget of sorts.

"You guys- Guess what?" Stumbling over one of Wolf's messy paws, he practically ran into the counter; luckily Wally caught him just in time.

"Whoa, slow down there kiddo. The last thing we need is the League on our case, thinking we can't watch a ten-year-old-kid," Wally helped him to his feet.

"Sorry you guys, but I've figured it out! I know Batman and Robin's secret identities!" This got both Arty and Zee's attention.

"Look, Billy, even the Boy Wonder himself hasn't told me anything about his secret identity. And we're kind of dating," Zantanna walked over to were the speedster, and Billy stood. Artemis raised an eyebrow, "How are you kind of dating?" Zantanna merely blushed.

"Ahem," Billy was growing impatient. "Anyway, as I was saying, Batman and Robin must be Sasuke and Naruto's children!"

"Their what now?"

"You know- Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha. It all makes sense!" Just then robin emerged from the kitchen, still playing with his bird-a-rang. Billy took this opportunity to point out the connections.

"Raven hair, ninja skills, he's really quick with his hands- just like Sasuke. However his light hearted personality and insane mad-man laugh must've been inherited from Naruto." Billy seemed very pleased with himself, as if he had unlocked all of the secrets to the universe. Putting his fingers to his chin, his expression suddenly became serious. "Of course, that must mean Naruto has the recessive set of genes, while Sasuke's are dominant. That would explain why Batman didn't receive any traits from Naruto." Artemis turned to Zantanna.

"Who are Sasuke and Naruto?" Zee just shrugged her shoulders, giving Wally the chance to answer.

"Two ninjas," he put his arm around her, "Though they don't come from rival ninja clans, and kill their ninja boyfriends, because of their ninja dads." Inwardly, Robin groaned. "This is gonna be a long day."

* * *

"And that's how you make perfect choc late chip cookies."

Miss Martin, Superboy, and Aqualad were huddled over cookie sheets in the kitchen. They were given the responsibility of watching Billy Sunday.

"Mhm," Billy took a big bite out of his cookie, "These are great! I should stay over at the cave more often." Megan smiled before she started the dishes, taking Conner with her. Now it was just Kaldur and Billy.

"Billy, do you have any school-work you must complete before Monday?" Kaldur asked, trying to be the most responsible of the teen heroes. He knew that Sunday was a school night, and that many teachers gave out sheets of homework that was to be completed before returning to classes Monday. He also knew that many young boys weren't very invested in their schooling; rather they'd play video games, or watch TV.

Billy shook his head. "Nope. My uncle makes me finish it Friday, so that I don't have to think about it over the weekend." He sighed a moment before his face light up. "Wanna hear a secret?"

* * *

"You are telling me, that Batman and Robin are related to ninja who have their own television show?" Kaldur frowned, "It seems highly unlikely."

"Come on, Superboy- what'd you think?" Conner's expression stayed the same.

"It is not possible for too guys to reproduce- right? Cadmus said…"

"Supes is right," Wally continued munching on the chips he had set out earlier. Artemis nodded.

"You guys, I'm telling you…"

**POOF!**

"I'm so glad Bats developed this amnesia spray," Robin said through his gas mask, dropping down from the rafters. "Otherwise, we'd have some serious explaining to do." Speaking into the watch on his wrist, he relaxed a bit. "Daddy N, Mommy S- using Brother B's gas worked. Mission accomplished.

* * *

A/N: I KNEW IT! XD. A bit of a crack chapter, because I've been crazy busy with the whole… OMG I'm GOING TO BE A FRESHMAN thing. Other than that- everything's the norm. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! :D


	6. Chapter 6: (YJ and Childbirth)

**Why Superhero's Make Horrible Roommates**

**Fandom:** Young Justice

**Paring(s): **Spitfire, Chalant, BirdFlash, SuperMartian, SeaArrow, WonderBat, GreenCanary, BuMalBee, and hints of HawkgirlxGreenLantern, HawkgirlxHawkman.

**Summary:** The members of the Justice League and the Team go over the many reasons why super-powered roommates are NOT a good idea.

**A/N: **I NEEDED A BABY FIX! I love kids- I should be a teacher or something. Anyway here is my (sorta) crack-chapter.

* * *

**Chapter Four: (Young Justice and Childbirth)**

"Hey, Kaldur?" Artemis stopped fiddling with her bow as she looked over at the book he had been reading. "Is that a book on pregnancy?" Kaldur bookmarked his place before setting the book down. "It is. As you know Queen Mera is expecting and I thought it would be wise to read up on the subject."

"But Kal?"

"Yes, Artemis?" She was looming over his shoulder. "Isn't this a little- graphic?" She gestured to the image on the cover. It showed a mother with her unborn child and a few other questionable things. Kaldur shook his head explaining, "This text is from Atlantis; the child will be born there after all. The art depicted on the cover is viewed as sacred, rather than obscene as it is up here."

"Oh." She furrowed her brow. "Could you read it somewhere else? I feel like I'm a breathing example."

It was true. He had been comparing the many diagrams to the blonde female near him. He blushed, "I was merely trying to grasp the concept, I apologize I made you feel uncomfortable." Artemis waved it off, "It's fine Kal- it's not your fault you're uneducated when it comes to stuff like this. You are just a guy after all."

"Who's just a guy?" Conner walked over to his teammates. "I am Kryptonian and he is Atlantean." He raised his eyebrows, "Is this about Wally?"

"Superboy that is not what Artemis meant. She was referring to the differences in the education of males and females on the subject of childbirth."

"Oh," Superboy remained unfazed. "Cadmus taught me about human reproduction," he shrugged. "I guess I could help."

"No-no-no-no," Artemis cut in. "Guys can't reach guys about childbirth; you have to show them." She picked up her phone, "Hold on, were going to need a few things for this."

* * *

"I'm here!" Megan' cheery voice echoed through the halls of Mt. Justice. "And I brought all of the stuff Artemis needed." Carrying a full tote bag, she walked over to the glass coffee table and began to place the items out on it one by one. "We have baby dolls, blankets, and," she lifted up a smaller doll, "A Barbie!"

"Hey Megs, hey Supey, hey- what is that?" Wally and Robin strode into the kitchen. "Is that, a Barbie?" Megan nodded her head enthusiastically.

"Yep- it's Artemis', she's letting us use it for the demonstrations." She levitated the heavy Atlantean book, opening it slightly, so the boys could see the cover. "She's teaching us about human childbirth."

"Childbirth?" Zantanna floated over to the group of the bewildered teens, surprised. "Um, Arty, did I miss something? Wait, the better question is- did _you_ miss something?"

"No!" Artemis threw her arms up in defense. "Nobody's pregnant! No one is having a baby!"

"Except Queen Mera," Superboy interjected. Kaldur just nodded.

"Artemis, Superboy, and Megan were educating me on the process of childbirth, so that I am prepared for when the heir comes."

"Oh," KF and Robin were unfazed. "Cool- can we help?"

* * *

"Okay," Artemis held up the Barbie in one hand, using her other as a pointer. "This is Barbie, and as you can see," she lifted up the doll's dress to reveal a large hollowed out Barbie tummy, "She is pregnant." The seven teens were crammed over Kaldur's book, listening to Artemis' talk attentively, all while comparing the description and diagrams to the plastic mold in the air above them.

"So you see, two people, well- you know; and then the sperm meets the egg, then the baby grows in the uterus and then, voila, you've got a baby." She added, pushing onto the hollow portion of the Barbie, "Then after a while of contractions and pain and pushing," she pressed the stomach down, slipping it into the cradle of the doll's spine, reviling a plastic baby Barbie, and "You have a baby." She smiled like it was the simplest subject in the world; then Wally raised his hand. "Yes, Wally?"

"You forgot to mention that during the first few contractions, there-" Robin elbowed him in the ribs.

"Dude, scientist or not, no guy needs to know that much." Zantanna agreed.

"The Boy Wonder is right, Kaldur, you're way too young to know all this stuff, besides," she sighed annoyed, "We've all had 'the talk' from our parents and mentors at some previous given point and time." She was met with one blank look from a very puzzled Martin.

"You have got to be kidding me."

* * *

"Bats is going to kill us for ruining the one pure minded teammate we have," Wally face palmed. "Besides, it's not like Mera is going to have the baby at the Cave or anything."

"Wally! Robin!" Megan flew into the speedster's room. "Queen Mera is paying Kaldur and the Team a visit!" She bobbed up and down. "We can all meet the baby!"

* * *

"My Queen," Kaldur welcomed his majesty formally before introducing her to his friends. "This is my team; Wally, Artemis, Megan, Conner, Zantanna, and Robin."

"Sup."

"Hello."

"Hi!"

"Humph."

"Hi."

"Hey."

"So, uh, Queen Mera," Miss M shuffled her feet. "Can we say 'hi' to the baby?" Mera laughed nodding.

"He tends to kick more when I am seated. Let us sit, then you may feel him."

"Wow," Zantanna drew her hand back in awe. "There's really somebody in there." Megan smiled even broader; her hand never left Mera's stomach.

"You're so lucky, and beautiful," the alien said without thinking, before blushing a bit. "It's just I read somewhere that pregnant women glow, and well-"

"You glow," Artemis finished for her. "Wow. It's so amazing."

* * *

Kaldur, Wally, Robin, and Conner were in the kitchen. Wally had suggested they zeta to his place, to "get away from all the mushy girl hormones", but Kaldur refused. Queen Mera was to stay within his eyesight.

"I think she wants one," Conner stated oblivious to the looks of concern and shock he was receiving from his friends.

"Listen Supey, babies are cute and all, but Megan doesn't want one- now- especially not now. Heck, you aren't even a full year old yet!" Robin patted the clones shoulder.

"Later buddy, _way_ later."

"Yeah in like, ten to fifteen years," Wally snorted. "It's not like Artemis would ever want kids; she's never been much of a family person."

"I am not certain of that friend," Kaldur spoke observing the group of girls fawning over the Queen. "She seems mesmerized."

Sure enough, Artemis' eyes were saccharine; a small smile at the corner of her lips. Softly, she whispered to herself, "I want one."

"Oh crap."

* * *

"Uncle John?" Miss M was with her uncle at his apartment in Chicago. "What's 'the talk'?"

* * *

**A/N**: So I did get to visit my baby cousins today! I am no longer craving! Don't worry though, I'll need another fix in a month or so. XP **R&R**


	7. Chapter 7: (YJ- SWITCHED!)

**Why Superhero's Make Horrible Roommates**

**Fandom:** Young Justice

**Paring(s): **Spitfire, Chalant, BirdFlash, SuperMartian, SeaArrow, WonderBat, GreenCanary, BuMalBee, and hints of HawkgirlxGreenLantern, HawkgirlxHawkman.

**Summary:** The members of the Justice League and the Team go over the many reasons why super-powered roommates are NOT a good idea.

**A/N:** So I watched Young Justice's Summit (FOR THE 100th Time!)- And HOLY CRAP! I didn't know if you guys knew this but I am the biggest Aqualad fangirl EVER! HA! Anyway, this is a quick something I whipped up for you guys; been crazy ass busy with registration for HIGHSCHOOL! See- I'm such an adult. XP

* * *

**Chapter Seven: (Young Justice- SWITCHED!)  
**

"Alright," Batman glared at his covert ops team, sending internal shivers down each of their spines, "Tell me exactly what happened.

"Well," Robin said in KF's speedster body. "WewentotfightKalrion,buthewasreadyforusandthenhed idsomemagicthingandZantannat riedtostopitorreverseit-anywayitdidntworkandnowourso ulshaveswapedbodies." He looked at his confused teammates. "What?"

"What we are saying is," Artemis's body stepped forward, "Our souls have swapped persons. We no longer have access to our own powers or abilities and we have no idea how to use each others." Batman looked at the archer. "Kaldur?"

"Yes?"

"Have each member of the team, go their normal ways, I'll call all of your mentors and they will teach you all you need to know until we can sort this problem out. This matter must be contained; we can not risk anyone other than the Justice League to know of this. That means to your family, and to your friends- you are exactly who you appear to be- understood?" All heads nodded. "Then let's get started."

* * *

"So let me get this straight? Artemis is Kaldur, Kaldur is Artemis, Robin is Wally, Wally is Megan, Megan is Conner, and Conner is?" Flash peered skeptically at the sidekicks. Wolf stepped forward.

"Grrrrrr."

"Oh." Flash sighed, "So who plans on telling Wally's parents- Iris? They'll kill me." Aquaman placed a hand on his fellow mentor's shoulder.

"We have graver matters at hand. If our enemies learn of this, surely they will use it to their advantage. We must teach each other's respective protégés of their, friends lives." Batman pulled out 5 manila files.

"These are now yours, being in each other's bodies- all of your secrets will be revealed anyway. Failure to read these things will result in some very, very, very embarrassing moments."

Wally, uh, I mean Robin (in Wally's body) whispered to his friend speedster friend who now had Martin abilities. "Telepathic link?"

The green skinned girl's brow furrowed in concentration. _"Link is now set up. Can everyone hear me?" _

_"Yep." _

_ "On." _

_ "Here." _

_ "Humph." _

_ "We are all present." _

_ "Okay so all in favor of NOT reading those folders?" _

_ "Aye." _

_ "Aye." _

_ "Aye." _

_ "Aye." _

_ "Aye." _

* * *

"So, you and Megan spend a lot of time up here?" Wally glanced at Martian Manhunter's apartment in Chicago. The Leaguer shook his head.

"She usually resides at the Cave with Conner; although she occasionally visits me." He looked at the younger hero, concerned. "Wally?"

"Yes?"

"You should try to contain your, Megan's true form. The ceiling is cracking."

"Crap."

* * *

"No offense Aquaman, but just because I have gills doesn't mean I know how to breathe underwater," Artemis shook her, Kal's head. "There is no way I'm drowning today, nu-uh.; so not doing this." The King of Atlantis sighed, Kaldur'ahm was never this difficult.

"I know it may seem rather impossible, but it is second nature for all Atlanteans. I am sure you will not drown, and in the case that you do, I," he said stepping into the shallow waters of Mt. Justice, "Will save you." Still the former archer looked hesitant.

"Fine _but_ if I do _drown_, I'm using your, oh so loyal sidekick as a pincushion for the next month."

* * *

"This is Artemis's residence?" Kaldur asked as Green Arrow showed him around Gotham. Ollie sighed.

"I've offered to get her and her mom a place in Star City but, she refused; she can be stubborn at times." Kaldur raised his eyebrows.

"At times?" Green Arrow glared.

"Either way," he pointed to a balcony on the fifth floor, "This is it." He patted the Atlantean on the back. "Remember her sisters an assassin who happens to be dating some hero, her father is a real jerk and a con-artist, while her mom is a paralyzed ex-villain. Think you can remember all that?" The boy merely gulped. "Well then," he waved, jogging over to the nearest zeta-beam, "Good luck!"

"Neptune help me."

* * *

"So um bats?" Flash had brought Robin (as Wally) over to Wayne manor; despite Batman's efforts the two knew each other's secret identities.

"What is it Barry?"

"You know Miss M is dating Superboy right?"

"What about it?"

"Well, don't Wolf and Conner share a room?"

"..."

"..."

"Fuck."

* * *

**A/N**: Soo sorry guys. Life is really happening. Speaking of which- this summer is my first and last summer before starting high school. For those of you that have been to, or are still in high school is there anything you wished you did before your last summer as a kid ended? Any regrets and/or tips- Please comment.


	8. Chapter 8: (I Like Wally Too)

**Why Superhero's Make Horrible Roommates**

**Fandom:** Young Justice

**Paring(s):** Spitfire, Chalant, BirdFlash, SuperMartian, SeaArrow, WonderBat, GreenCanary, BuMalBee, and hints of HawkgirlxGreenLantern, HawkgirlxHawkman.

**Summary:** The members of the Justice League and the Team go over the many reasons why super-powered roommates are NOT a good idea.

**A/N:** Here we are at the end of You- SHUT IT! IM REAL SICK AND TIRED OF ALL OF YOU SAYING "Wally Died" HE IS NOT DEAD! HE WAS TELEPORTED! THINK ABOUT "FAILSAFE"! Ugh! Fuck you fandom. My speedster baby daddy is ALIVE! (P.S This chapter was inspired by IMT (InnerMindTheater) and their 'GNO with Superboy' skit. Check 'em out; they do AMAZING YJ cosplays.

* * *

**Chapter Eight: (I Like Wally Too)**

"So Artemis," Superboy was watching static on the TV- again; of course he would be bored, he had every right to be. His girlfriend was on Mars visiting family and for some unspoken reason; every bad guy in Happy Harbor seemed to have taken the day off. The archer dropped her satchel of arrows. "What's up?"

"You like Wally?" The golden haired girl sighed.

"Yes Conner, we've been over this. I like Wally, Wally likes me; we like each-other." She crossed her arms and cocked her hip. "Did something happen between you and Megan?" Supey shook his head.

"No," he paused, looking downcast, "But Megan told me that you can only love one person, which means Wally only loves you." The girl relaxed.

"Conner, Megan was trying to reassure you; no latter how many hot Martians are out there, you'll still be the only guy she loves."

"Oh, but I'm not talking about Megan."

"Then who-"

"Wally."

"..."

"..."

"Wally- you mean _me_ and Wally?"

"No, I mean _me_ and Wally." The clone stared at her expectantly. "I like Megan and Wally…"

"No, Conner, that's not-"

"…And Kaldur, and Roy, and Robin, and the new Robin…"

"Uh-"

"…But not Rocket, or Zantanna. I mean they're okay but I don't like, like them." A very disturbed Artemis rubbed her temples.

"Conner, did Megan tell you anything else about- love?" The clone shook his head, allowing Artemis to let out a sigh of relief.

"Actually she said that after the fourth date…"

"MEGAN!"

* * *

**A/N:** I'm begging you guys- please, please check out IMT! They are amazing. Who knows- maybe they'll inspire you to become a cosplayer too.


	9. Chapter 9: (Batman Knows It All)

**Why Superhero's Make Horrible Roommates**

**Fandom:** Young Justice

**Paring(s):** Spitfire, Chalant, BirdFlash, SuperMartian, SeaArrow, WonderBat, GreenCanary, BuMalBee, and hints of HawkgirlxGreenLantern, HawkgirlxHawkman.

**Summary:** The members of the Justice League and the Team go over the many reasons why super-powered roommates are NOT a good idea.

**A/N: **So I just happen to be on Spring Break- Yea! Although not really because no matter what time of year I have NO life whatsoever. Anyway, here we go!

* * *

**Chapter Nine: (Batman Knows It All)**

"So Kid and Robin and Aqualad rescued Superboy from Cadmus- all without Batman's consent," _ nodded his head. "Pretty brave if you ask me."

"Or pretty stupid," Diana countered. "I'm surprised he hasn't gotten them back yet." She frowned, "He us usually wastes no time in doing such things." The Thanagarian nodded.

"Yeah- it's kinda creepy when you think about it." She cocked her head, "I wonder what he's doing now..."

In the Batcave, Batman was counting the seconds that Kid Flash, Robin, and Superboy, talked about things other than justice. They gossiped about relationships, video games, and their girlfriends. This just would not do.

"Alfred? Ready the Batmobile, I have a lesson to teach those kids."

* * *

"So, why do you guys think Megan is mad at me?" Conner frowned. "I mean, she was all okay and then the next- she wasn't." Wally patted him on the back.

"I know the feeling buddy. I have a feeling Artemis is rubbing off on her." He took out a pocket sized calendar. "New rule: avoid both Artemis and Megan until the..." Dick stared at him- shocked.

"You do realize she will kill you if she ever finds that thing." Superboy took the planner from his teammate.

"Why would she- oh." He gulped. Cadmus had informed him about human female reproduction systems.

"Well," Robin nudged his best friend in the ribs. "Wally- it was nice knowing you.

Watching the teens from his monitors inside the Batmobile, Batman smirked. Payback would be easier than he expected.

* * *

"WALLACE RUDOLPH WEST!" Artemis fired explosive arrow after explosive arrow at her (soon to be ex-) boyfriend. "GET BACK HERE!"

"I SWEAR IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! YOU WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO FIND IT!" He sped over to the nearest zeta-tube. "CAN WE AT LEAST TALK ABOUT THIS?!"

"NO!" Artemis sprinted toward him. "NOW STAY STILL SO I CAN KILL YOU!"

At the Watchtower Wonder Woman and Hawkwoman cheered on the very ticked archer while Green Arrow and Flash just stood by numb.

"She hasn't missed at all in target practice this week," Ollie nervously looked over at the Leaguer next to him.

"He is so dead."

* * *

**A/N: **RL SUCKS! You guys I need to find a way to live inside the DC Universe, I'm dead serious. I mean- where the hell are my superhero friends?


	10. Chapter 10: (Cave Pet)

**Why Superhero's Make Horrible Roommates**

**Fandom:** Young Justice

**Paring(s):** Spitfire, Chalant, BirdFlash, SuperMartian, SeaArrow, WonderBat, GreenCanary, BuMalBee, and hints of HawkgirlxGreenLantern, HawkgirlxHawkman.

**Summary:** The members of the Justice League and the Team go over the many reasons why super-powered roommates are NOT a good idea.

**A/N: **So there's this thing we've been doing in L.A as the "big-end-of-the-year-30%-of-your-final-grade-repor t" thing and it turns out that we aren't writing a paper- we're just making a PowerPoint. I am pissed the f off. I do awesome research, I write my notes all in paragraph form, I start a few rough drafts all the while the other dumb kids are waiting for constant direction and then the teachers like "Okay you start your Project today, open up PowerPoint." I even asked her "Why aren't we writing a paper?" Then she said, "I don't know what the other years have done." Da fuq? First of all lady, I've been here for years and I know that the other grades do and secondly—THAT WASN'T MY QUESTON.*Rants on about how this generation is so fucking illiterate*

* * *

**Chapter Ten: (Cave Pet)**

It was just one of those weeks; you know one of those weeks where you go to work on Monday waiting for your normal hell to start but instead Satan shows up himself. Yes, you see the Team had just finished one of those weeks.

Monday Klarion went around terrorizing a handful of local breeders in Happy Harbor, then Tuesday it was breeders located in Ohio, Wednesday it was Milwaukee, and Thursday it was Illinois. ((I'm from the Mid-West, could you tell? XP)) As usual, that left Friday and the weekend for our young heroes to take care of damage control; only this time damage control was keeping watch over a handful of puppies, kittens, hamsters, and their parents. Yep, pit-bull pups, angora kittens, and Russian white hamsters were divided evenly between groups of two. Kaldur and Raquel were watching the baby animals' parents; all the moms were prancing between their offspring while the dads kind of just chilled- they didn't seem too interested.

Rob (donning his Mr. Shades look- once again) was with Zantanna watching the kittens; Rob had practice- Selina was like a surrogate mom after all. Superboy and Megan were busy keeping the active puppies at Bay; no doubt Megan thought it was so cute when they nipped at Conner who just looked kind of defeated. She giggled, "Need a hand?" The clone frowned. "No." He handed off one of the pups to her, "Maybe... Yes." That left Wally and Artemis to watch over the less rambunctious dog babies, one of whom was curled up and sleeping on Artemis's shoulder.

"I think this one likes you babe," Wally blanketed the sleeping pup on his girlfriends shoulder. "He hasn't moved an inch." The blonde smiled, "A skill you still have yet to accomplish." Further away from them Robin cackled.

"A dog beat you to it- how fitting."

"Hey! I'll have you know that the do is sleeping- and when exhausted baby puppies sleep- they don't move!"

"Calm down Wally," Zantanna giggled as a kitten clawed its way down her back. "I'm sure Arty loves you just the same."

Turning back to his girlfriend, the speedster smiled. _Of course- they weren't even legal yet, and the only place they could have a pet would be the Cave- and just because Wolf liked it, didn't mean a puppy, puppy would like it and-_

"Wall-man?"

"Yeah Arty?"

"Well, Mr. Puppy woke up and sort of decided to pee on your shoe."

_That little-_

Her laugh broke him out of his thoughts, he loved her laugh, and he'd do anything to hear it. So maybe he'd need a few backup sneakers, but Wally knew what Artemis's and his first purchase would be.

* * *

**A/N:** I'M LATE! Me knows and me is sorry... I've just kind of been- bleh... The world upsets me sometimes. I'm in a monthly depression rut- the bombings, the shooting, the Justin-Bieber-Anne-Frank-thing, and my sister acting up with PANDAS symptoms makes it all worse. However, this makes me happy! I don't intend on stopping! **3**

Send your love and prayers to those in Boston- to all those who need support everywhere. **3**


	11. Chapter 11: (Mother's Day)

**FF: (Why Superhero's Make Horrible Roommates)**

**Fandom:** Young Justice

**Paring(s):** Spitfire, Chalant, BirdFlash, SuperMartian, SeaArrow, WonderBat, GreenCanary, BuMalBee, and hints of HawkgirlxGreenLantern, HawkgirlxHawkman.

**Summary:** The members of the Justice League and the Team go over the many reasons why super-powered roommates are NOT a good idea.

**A/N:** Happy Mommies Day!

* * *

**Chapter Eleven:** (Mothers Day)

"Hey Mom?" Arty called out as she climbed through her bedroom window. "There's this thing going on at the Cave and um," she paused racking her mind for the right words. "You're, uh, invited...?"

* * *

"Kaldur!" Sha'laina pulled her son into a warm embrace. "It is good to see you. King Orin has told us of your recent victories- there are many. I am so proud of you." Aqualad smiled, "Mother, there is something I wish to show you."

* * *

"Mom!" Wally called downstairs as he fiddled with his tie; it was his uncles idea to get dressed up. "Stop fussing over dad- we're gonna be late!"

* * *

Conner Kent slowly walked over to the reporter's desk. It wasn't his first time meeting Lois, but it was his first time meeting Lois without Clark.

"Hey Conner," the go getter keyed in her closing statement, "What's this party I've been hearing about?"

* * *

"Hey there buddy," Raquel picked her son up off the multicolored play rug. "Are you ready? You ready? Lets go."

* * *

"Dad," Zantanna groaned, "Do I really have to wear this?" She hated the stockings.

"No daughter of mine is wearing a dress that length with nothing underneath it. Besides, this a League party- it's good to look your best."

"Says the magician in a tux."

"Hmm?"

"Nothing."

* * *

At the Wayne Manor, Dick and Bruce were both sitting in silence; not one word had been spoken the entire day. Sighing, Dick jumped up- just because Bruce was sulking, didn't mean he had to.

* * *

"Black Canary?" Megan spoke through the telepathic link. "Uh, there's this thing that the Team kinda needs help with..."

* * *

"HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!"

The teenagers proudly displayed an array of food, and gifts while waving to their respective moms. Artemis seemed a bit uneasy, but that all changed when she saw Paula tearing up. It was their day after all.

"It's just that you do so much for us," Wally started off...

"And we never really say thank you," Megan added...

"The superhero thing kinda gets in the way," Artemis continued...

"And were not good at expressing it," Conner looked down...

"But we want you to know that none of what we do now would be possible without you," Kaldur finished for them. Zantanna nodded,

"Yeah, you guys are the real superheroes here."

* * *

Slipping out silently, Dick Grayson rode his bike all the way to the cemetery The flowers in his backpack got a little jostled, but that was okay; it's not the person they were for could actually see them. Stopping as he reached the headstone, Dick placed the bouquet down; his eyes watered and his throat suddenly felt dry. "Happy Mother's Day Mom."

* * *

**A/N:** YOU- yes YOU! GET OFF UR ASS AND GO TELL UR MAMA HOW MUCH U LOVE HER DAMMIT!

Oh, and then review. **XP**


	12. Chapter 12: (She's Not Going- Period)

**FF: (Why Superhero's Make Horrible Roommates)**

**Fandom:** Young Justice

**Paring(s)**: Spitfire, Chalant, BirdFlash, SuperMartian, SeaArrow, WonderBat, GreenCanary, BuMalBee, and hints of HawkgirlxGreenLantern, HawkgirlxHawkman.

**Summary:** The members of the Justice League and the Team go over the many reasons why super-powered roommates are NOT a good idea.

**A/N**: So I had this and forgot to post it... Whoops

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: (I'm Not Going- Period)**

One of the annoying things about being a superhero would have to be the fact that most of the time, things relating to your personal life, were never parallel with your "career"; this, was one of those things.

"So, The Riddler's at it again?" Kid Flash sped over to where Robin was working on the holographic computer, "Why send the entire team? I mean, it's not like it's Black Manta or something." Robin merely shrugged his shoulders.

"Batman said that we all should go, I think he's worried that we'll end up destroying property in our boredom."

"Man, he's good; the couch incident is definitely something I would prefer to not go through again." Wally looked around- Megan and Conner were off together discussing some Earthly custom, while Kaldur was reading through paperwork- since Raquel and Zantanna had some other business to attend to. Then it hit him. "Hey, guys, where's Artemis?"

"I'm right here Wally," Artemis walked to the (new) couch, plopping down before picking up the remote.

"Wait," Robin asked, "You're not coming?"

"No," the blonde replied slightly irked, "I'm not going on patrol tonight." Stepping out of her boyfriend's arms, Miss M put on a worried expression.

"Why? Are you sick?" The green girl floated over to the archer curled up on the couch.

"No, I'm just not feeling well, besides, its just The Riddler, you can handle him without me."

"Yeah, but," Wally sped over, quickly placing a hand on her forehead before she could swat it away.

"If you are ill, perhaps one of us should stay behind to care for you," Kaldur suggested, placing his packet of papers down. "Does she have a temperature?"

"No, _she_ doesn't," Artemis answered for her boyfriend. "I just have a little stomach ache, it's not a big deal- really." Giving suspicious glances to one another, the Team was silent for a moment before starting to talk all at once.

"You sure?"

"Do I need to inform Batman of this predicament?"

"I could make you some cookies?"

"Maybe you should go to bed, like, take a nap."

Artemis groaned, "No! I'm fine, really, I just-"

"She has her period."

_"..."_

"What?"

Superboy continued, "The human female reproductive system has a cycle that usually consists of an average of 28 days in which-"

"Dude!" Wally shrieked, "You're a guy, why the hell would you know this stuff‽ How the hell do you know this stuff‽" Conner remained unphased.

"Cadmus," they taught me a lot of things about humans- guess even they don't have too much information on Kryptonians." Megan frowned at his last remark before kissing him on the cheek. "Aww, Conner, I think all of us know enough."

"Yeah," Wally added snickering, "_Way_ enough."

* * *

**A/N:** Cuz I ran out of chocolate. Anyone else think there needs to be a day where all men just worship women you know- for continuing the human race and all? Cuz I do.


	13. Chapter 13: (Father's Day)

**FF:** (Why Superhero's Make Horrible Roommates)

**Fandom**: Young Justice

**Paring(s):** Spitfire, Chalant, BirdFlash, SuperMartian, SeaArrow, WonderBat, GreenCanary, BuMalBee, and hints of HawkgirlxGreenLantern, HawkgirlxHawkman.

**Summary:** The members of the Justice League and the Team go over the many reasons why super-powered roommates are NOT a good idea.

**A/N:** So Fathers' Day was like, 3 days ago...

* * *

"So you and Supey are spending the day together?" Wally and Conner were sitting on the Cave's couch discussing their Fathers Day plans. "That's great Conner," Wally patted the clone's back. "I'm glad SM is coming along." The Kryptonian smiled in response.

"Yeah. So what are you doing for Father's Day?" Wally just shrugged.

"We just stay home and barbecue, and this year the Garrick's are coming over." He paused to turn on the TV, "I wonder what everyone else is doing?"

***Meanwhile In Gotham***

Artemis and Kaldur were eating tubs of ice-cream- neither one of them bothering to use a bowl. Mrs. Crock was reading in her room, not particularly worried about the two teenagers in the other room. They were heroes after all- they knew how to handle themselves by now, and that was true...

...If handling yourself meant vegging out while watching Friends re-runs.

"What pisses me off is that everyone expects us to break down and cry- and then they try to cheer us up," Artemis took a big bite of her oversized pink cupcake. "Just because we don't have great dads doesn't mean we can't enjoy the day. It's like saying that you can't enjoy Christmas because you're an atheist." She held out a chocolate box to Kal with her other hand. "Want some?" He shook his head. Artemis frowned. "Seriously? I invite you over so we can stuff out feelings then go punch people and all you want to do is sit here and not talk?" He nodded again. Popping a carmel in her mouth, Artemis became quiet before shrugging. "Yeah- ok. Good plan."

***Back To Cave* **  
Kid Flash bit his shuddered, as he envisioned one ticked off archer. "Then again, maybe it's best that we don't know."

* * *

**A/N:** In all honesty I don't know what Fathers Day is like cuz I don't have one so Artemis is just a blonde, archery, badass version of me here. And I've decided that I might do one (possibly two) more chapters before ending this. I just have lots of plot bunnies...


End file.
